【Intellectual education】Risk of comparing children, workarounds ♪ to promote growth [Compared diseases]

It’s sad to be compared to others, whether it’s praise or degradation, it’s sad for both of them.

To compare
1. The grass next door is blue.
The risk of comparing with other children
A workaround ♪ for driving growth and when you’re likely to compare it to other kids
Summary

To compare

First of all, as a premise, there are individual differences among people. Naturally, every pace is different for everyone. First of all, please keep in mind that there are individual differences. When compared to others, many people may feel uncomfortable. Even if you are compared to others and praised, you will not feel very happy. Also, please note that such praise of children may have a negative effect on character development. It’s a little difficult to compare people. A kid is better than that kid! And looking down on the surroundings, being frightened when looking around with an inferiority complex, etc., it is not good if you start to think backwards and comparisons. Parents never want to compare. If a child doesn’t do what he says, or can’t do it no matter how much he or she says, that kind of irritation will make him compare himself to others. But just by changing your mindset, both parents and children can be happy! There are people who often describe themselves as toxic parents, but I don’t think there are any parents who like to become toxic parents.

The grass next door is blue.

“The grass next door is blue“ …　Anything that belongs to others means that it looks good. People are unconsciously comparing themselves to others. Looking at other people’s children, my child is cute, and my rice is more delicious. My house is bigger. Which face is beautiful, who has the money, etc., if you fry it, there is no cut. That’s …, Fura P’s thinking is super positive thinking… Was…. The point is, as the old saying goes, it’s easy to feel other people’s things well.

The risk of comparing with other children

So what is the impact on the children compared? ※There are individual differences.

■Low self-affirmation

By being compared, you may have a sense that you are not good, and you may become a personality who always cares about your surroundings. Even as an adult, it seems to be depressed if you always compare yourself with your surroundings.

■Imprinting the common sense of parents (educators) that fit into the framework of ordinary

This is not only a bad side, but it becomes a person who is stuck in the frame, and it becomes difficult to take bold ideas and actions. It may be difficult to become a big adult, as it is commonly said.

■ There is a crack in parent-child relationships just by comparing

I don’t want to compare parents either. I want you to do so that other children can do it. However, there are cases where it is only negating just by comparing it if you make a mistake in saying it. The said child may feel very sad and distrust of his parents. On the other hand, parents can relieve a little anxiety by paying attention.

A workaround ♪ for driving growth and when you’re likely to compare it to other kids

We have compiled a workaround that can be done today when you are likely to compare it with other children.

A pinch is an opportunity. ♪

■ Compare with past children instead of with other children

Children will ♪ soon cross their past self, such as eating things that can not be eaten that can not be ♪ done! By praising compared to past children, you can enjoy a sense of accomplishment, happiness, and self-affirmation. I think that “I will do my best next time!” will be born from this emotion.

■ Take a deep breath and respond calmly

Children will repel if they get angry. It is such a thing. It is also the role of parents to motivate them. If you get frustrated, take a deep breath and listen to the story. If both sides are heating up, it is also effective to discuss after time. Same as an adult? Yes, the child is also one person. I want to be able to share my parents’ opinions and lead them on the right path while respecting my children. Parents are also hard.

■ Make rewards ♪ if you can

If possible, make a reward ♪. To give you an example, if you take 90 points or more 10 times in the test, you will buy your favorite sweets. The effect may be effective, depending on the character of the child. In daily learning, it is also effective to reduce what you can not do and eliminate the elements to compare in advance.

■ Make a habit of finding the good points of your child

My child is amazing here! If you make a habit of finding such wonderful things, I think that the frequency of comparing will decrease. There are individual differences between people, and each person has its superiority or inferiority. If you compare anyway, find great things and stretch them. ♪

Summary

It’s sad to be compared to someone you love. But it’s nice to be complimented compared to my past self.

Turn the risk of comparing children into a chance to grow them!!

Now, how about “Risks of comparing children, workarounds ♪ to encourage growth”? A casual word released by the parent’s yardstick. Comparisons and restraints sometimes affect the formation of a child’s personality and future. By the way, I also have a series of failures. I would be happy if you could grow up straight without limiting your child’s ♪ potential Thank you for reading to the end.

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Khrapatyi (ふらぱてぃ)

Father of two children (middle-aged) /Japan/Social worker/Investor/former painter/Science fiction researcher

Don't forget to enjoy "children's hearts"!
Let's change "boring" to "fun"!
Fun will be the sustenance of life ♡
This is a blog that focuses on child-rearing articles, YouTube video introductions, and miscellaneous articles from a professional and father's perspective by a social worker.

♥ Furari-chan (6 years old) The most beautiful girl in Japan. Gluttonous but small meal. I love cute things.
♥ Funi-kun (8 years old) A timid but kind brother. I love Pokemon.

■ Blog "Playbox ♡" (2021 / 10 ~)
Passed Google Ads examination (2022/1 ~)
■ Daughter Furari-chan and YouTube
"Play box ♡ Play box" (2021/9 ~)
Joining UUUM network (2021 / 10 ~)
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I hope that playing with my father will lead to discoveries and learning.